Lay Down Your Doubt, Part 2

Posted on March 30, 2012 by Carl Simmons

In the first part of this devotional, posted way back when, we looked at how our anxiety expresses itself in doubt and in trying to “control” the situation apart from God. Sometimes, however, we already know things are out of our hands. And yet, we wrestle with the same problem as the anxious and the self-reliant—a failure to acknowledge that things are still in God’s hands.

We see a great example of this as Jesus encounters a boy with an unclean spirit—and even more so in the people surrounding Jesus and the boy:

And when they came to the disciples, they saw a great crowd around them, and scribes arguing with them. And immediately all the crowd, when they saw him, were greatly amazed and ran up to him and greeted him. And he asked them, “What are you arguing about with them?” And someone from the crowd answered him, “Teacher, I brought my son to you, for he has a spirit that makes him mute. And whenever it seizes him, it throws him down, and he foams and grinds his teeth and becomes rigid. So I asked your disciples to cast it out, and they were not able.” And he answered them, “O faithless generation, how long am I to be with you? How long am I to bear with you? Bring him to me.” And they brought the boy to him. And when the spirit saw him, immediately it convulsed the boy, and he fell on the ground and rolled about, foaming at the mouth. And Jesus asked his father, “How long has this been happening to him?” And he said, “From childhood. And it has often cast him into fire and into water, to destroy him. But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.” And Jesus said to him, “‘If you can’! All things are possible for one who believes.” Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, “I believe; help my unbelief!” And when Jesus saw that a crowd came running together, he rebuked the unclean spirit, saying to it, “You mute and deaf spirit, I command you, come out of him and never enter him again.” And after crying out and convulsing him terribly, it came out, and the boy was like a corpse, so that most of them said, “He is dead.” But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him up, and he arose. And when he had entered the house, his disciples asked him privately, “Why could we not cast it out?” And he said to them, “This kind cannot be driven out by anything but prayer” (Mark 9:14-29, ESV).

I love the incredulousness of Jesus’ “If you can!” here. It not only carries the sense of “Who do you think I am?” but also “Who do you think you are, in God’s sight?” Which is borne out by his next sentence, “All things are possible for one who believes.”

While again it’s not simply a matter of “God helps those who help themselves,” our inability to “make” God’s will manifest might indeed be a matter of us not “being in position” for God to use us. Our doubt blocks God’s ability to operate. Not that He couldn’t blow past it any time He liked, as Jesus in fact does here, but God wants us to believe and is willing to withhold His temporal blessings and deliverance until we do so.

Mind you, I’m not advocating a “name-it-and-claim-it” theology here. But I am suggesting a principle of “believe it and you’ll receive it”—provided it’s in God will. There is a truth within in the more positivistic applications of the gospel that’s gotten twisted, and it’s this: So much of God’s will for our lives remains unclaimed, because we can’t bring ourselves to believe that God would really want to do something good for us.

Thus, I suspect that the prayer and fasting the disciples lacked for this situation wasn’t purely a matter of failing to press the right spiritual buttons—let alone “if you do this spiritual discipline more regularly, you’ll be so much more effective for the Kingdom.” Rather, like every spiritual discipline, it was a way for the disciples to humble themselves before God so that they too could see the situation properly, become acutely aware of their own fallenness, human inability, and just plain lack of trust—and acknowledge, as the boy’s father did, “I believe; help my unbelief!”

Lay down your doubt, and let Jesus help your unbelief.

Lay It Down Today

Let’s use today’s passage from Mark, and get more creative with it. Read it again right now, putting yourself in the disciples’ place. Experience the inability to heal, Jesus’ rebuke, the curiosity/humility afterward. Then, read it once more, from the perspective of the father—the overwhelmedness and desperation for his son to be delivered, and the equally deep desperation to want to believe fully that Jesus could, and would, deliver his son.

Who do you identify with more right now? Spend some time giving up your doubt, and the roadblocks you’ve placed to reinforce that doubt, to Jesus right now. Hand over to Jesus the things that are making you anxious or overwhelmed, and ask Him to keep those things out of your hands from this day forward.

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Lay Down Your Love (Retreat Session 4)

Posted on March 28, 2012 by Carl Simmons

Throughout the course of this retreat, as promised, you’ve been exposed to—and sometimes thrown into in—just a few of the spiritual disciplines. But the fact is, every spiritual discipline is a form of worship. It’s a way of being intentional about recognizing God’s “worth-ship.” And as you’ve hopefully discovered in a deeper sense, they get us out of our own way so we can see and appreciate God for who He is.

In this final session, we’re going to focus more on worship in the more “conventional,” outward sense, as well use the above disciplines, with Revelation as our guide. We need to always remember that our lives are prep time for eternity. Right now, we’re being prepared to live forever in God’s presence. Just thinking about that should help us look at our lives here differently. Thus, we’ll also consider what God still has in store for us here—how we can serve the world He’s placed us in, for His sake. So let’s begin to pick up our new life in Jesus, put it on, and walk it out.

Take 15 minutes to think and journal on these questions:

  • Out of the activities you’ve done during this retreat—study, prayer, silence, confession, “alone time with God” (and fellowship and service, if you’ve been with a group)—which have helped you connect with God the most? Why do you think that is?
  •  Which disciplines would like to spend more time with? How can you become more deliberate about doing so?
  •  Think about a meaningful time or season of worship (of any kind), or of closeness to God, that you’ve experienced. What made that time so meaningful to you? What did it feel like? How did it affect your thoughts and actions?
  • How has your idea of what worship is (and isn’t) changed during the course of your Christian life? How has your own approach to worship before God changed, as a result?

Read Revelation 7:9–8:3. Then read it again. Once more, if you need to, to get the whole picture of what’s taking place here. Then move on.

We’re not going to observe an entire half-hour of silence, but we are going to take a few more minutes to just sit and be silent before God. Close your eyes, and put yourself in the middle of this passage. Go from being an observer to a participant, because that’s what you’ll be one day. Meditate on this passage until you can truly see yourself there.

Once you’re ready to leave the scene, take at least 10 more minutes to reflect on these questions:

  •  How did you feel as you reflected on this scene? Were you excited? Uncomfortable? Scared? Or did you have a hard time resonating with it at all? In any case, why?
  •  Regardless of your answer, how does (or should) knowing our eternal future with Jesus help us make worship—however we do it—a higher priority in our lives?
  •  How easy is it for you to accept the idea that you’re created for God’s pleasure—and that God delights in growing you even further? Explain.

Before you move on to the next section, spend some time worshiping God, in whatever you’re comfortable doing. But do something audible and visible before God—maybe even shout, cry, and fall on your face. Get ready to become a part of what you’ve just experienced in Revelation 7.

Then, read Revelation 21:1-7, 21:12–22:5. Again, take as many times as you need for the images here to sink in.

Next, think once more about the people you’ve reflected on during the course of this retreat. (Those reading this for the first time can look through the previous entries below.) Consider this: They, too, with be with you for eternity. In fact, you’re going to spend eternity with every believer who’s ever walked the earth. Then, take 15 minutes to reflect on these questions:

  • How can remembering your destination enable you to begin living eternal life more fully right now?
  • Where is it most apparent to you that you’re not yet “one who conquers”? How can the One who has conquered help you in that battle?
  • Even more important than you: Who are the “conquered” in your life right now? Who needs joy? Healing? Comfort? A sense of God’s presence? Refreshing? A sense of their value to God? How could God use you to help bring that to them? Be specific.

Take at least 15 minutes to pray in response to that last question. Ask God to build upon and expand the vision He’s begun to place upon your heart. Ask Him to guide you to those people that either you can come alongside or who can come alongside you, or both, depending on your situation.

Try to have an extended time of worship between you and God to close your retreat time. Pray, sing, talk… give whatever you can give to God. When you feel you’ve done that, thank God once more for your time together, and then get back out there—because eternal life starts now.

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Past the Beauty, and to The Beautiful

Posted on March 27, 2012 by Carl Simmons

It starts kind of slow, but bear with it. Because, after all, this book is about slowing down enough to recognize God’s reflection in all of creation—as well as in our own creations, as we too reflect the Creator.

Steve DeWitt. Eyes Wide Open: Enjoying God in Everything. 208p., $14.99, Credo House Publishers.

My reiteration of the message from Steve DeWitt, senior pastor at Bethel Church in Crown Point, Indiana, is this: We are all creators, created in God’s image. And thus we are all image-bearers, gifted with image-ination. And most of us have lost that sense. But as we learn to recapture it, we also begin to better sense God’s presence around us in everything—even things we may have discounted previously or misused for our own purposes.

“The strength of our longing proves that satisfaction is possible,” DeWitt says. “Our cravings are both a clue and a compliment. They are a clue that the desire was made for no earthly satisfaction and a compliment to the One whose satisfactions consummate our desires.”

That said, the first third or so of the book felt a bit obvious to me (and/or like transcribed sermon notes), and likely could have been condensed. But based on what follows, I suspect DeWitt’s intent was to make the access ramp as wide as possible before ramping things up. And ramp them he does. We find ourselves going from considerable overexposure to the word “wow!” (and my counteruse of the phrase “OK, I get it already!”) to practical suggestions on how to experience that “wow” for ourselves, drawing from sources as diverse and deep as Jonathan Edwards, St. Bonaventure and C.S. Lewis. As we apply the wisdom found here, we learn to use beauty as a catalyst for appreciating and worshiping God.

But the early stuff may not feel as obvious to everyone. If you need convincing, work through DeWitt’s early arguments here. If not, glean as needed. Either way, hang in there until the chapter “Beyond Beauty to Wonder,” because that’s where the book truly gets good. “The experience of beauty does something profound and powerful within the heart and soul of every human being. Beauty creates wonder in us.” And it enables us to encounter The Beautiful One in the following chapter. And if that doesn’t, the next chapter, “An Eye for the Gleaming,” seals the deal:

Every created beauty that we have ever enjoyed in this world is like moonlight. Void of any comparison, they seem like the best this life has to offer. But through the gospel and the Holy Spirit, we have seen The Beautiful One, Christ…. We used to worship reflections, but through the gospel and the Holy Spirit we discern a better beauty…. Once we discern His glory, however, we enjoy the moonlight of created beauties all the more because they remind us of Him.

But it’s not all inspiration; there’s also work involved. “Sin tilted created beauty toward us. But this is not beauty’s created purpose,” DeWitt says. “Since created beauty speaks of God, our experience of it requires us to swim upstream. Beauty’s source and satisfaction is found in the source, not the self.”

From this point, DeWitt extends his exploration into our own outward expressions and explorations of beauty, addressing the issues of “What is Christian art, and is there even such a thing?” and our attraction to the power of story, which points to The Big Story. The book ends—where else?—with a moving look at the closing chapters of Revelation, where The Big Story, God’s glory and us are at last complete. And still only beginning.

This book will get you on the road to seeing the Beautiful One, who creates all beauty, more fully. And it’ll even get you a ways down that road.

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Lay It Down and Lay It Out (Retreat Session 3)

Posted on March 26, 2012 by Carl Simmons

God has called each of us as individuals, and called us to respond to Him in the unique way He’s called each of us… but that doesn’t mean we’re in this alone. As we’ve already discovered, God has allowed us to experience some incredible things—even if they seemed hard at the time. There are probably even things in our lives that we wish God hadn’t allowed. But as we’ve seen, God can and will use everything for His good, even those things that seem lousy and unexplainable to us—if we’ll trust Him. Furthermore, God wants us to share what He’s done and give Him the glory for it.

This should be true of our Christian relationships as well—or perhaps, especially. However, the trick isn’t to pursue relationships with other Christians, but to pursue Jesus together as Christians. The two things sound similar, but there’s all the difference in the world between them. When Jesus is our focus, suddenly all the little things that often get in the way in our relationships don’t seem so important. When we pursue Jesus together, our relationships naturally become closer and deeper—because Jesus sets the tone. And Jesus is never going to steer us the wrong way.

We’re going to take an in-depth look at Romans 12, and use it as our roadmap from the individual to the corporate. In some ways this chapter seems all over the map, but as we work through it we’ll hopefully begin to observe the connections between who we individually should be before God, and how Jesus wants us to serve the world together as His Body.

Read Romans 12:1-2, repeatedly. Reflect on your time spent on this retreat so far (this, of course, assumes you have — view the previous 2 entries to get an idea), and then take at least 10 minutes to respond to these questions:

  • Based on what’s gone on between you and God so far, how do you believe He’s called you specifically to “present your bod[y] as a living sacrifice”? What do you think your next move actually looks like?
  • When do you find it easier to try harder, or “be conformed to this world,” to get things done, than to be “a living sacrifice”? What would God’s “good and acceptable and perfect” will look like in those situations? (And if your answer’s “I don’t know,” what do you need to change in your thinking to find out?)

Read verses 3-5, again repeatedly. Then take at least 15 minutes to reflect and write concerning the following questions:

  • Why is it important to remember that we’re part of a body—and only one part? Come up with at least one example to illustrate your answer.
  • Likewise, why is it important to remember that God has given each member a measure of faith?
  • When have you seen a healthy church body (or group) work together? What made it work so well?
  • On the other hand, when have you seen God’s purposes thwarted by His body? Complete this sentence, “If only….”
  • What was your part in that “If only…”—or what should it have been?

Before beginning your next reading, take two or three minutes to think of all the commitments you’re responsible for in a given week, and write them down as they come to you.

Now, read and re-read verses 6-10. Take at least 15 minutes to journal on these questions:

  • Where do you fit into this “short list” of spiritual gifts—or wish you did? How else has God gifted you that’s not listed here?
  • Who exhibits some of the gifts that make you say “that’s so not me”? How could working together with that person or people benefit both of you, as well as benefit those you’re serving (or would like to serve)?
  • Stay on those people you just thought of. How does showing mutual love and honoring those people help smooth over those places where it’s painfully obvious how different you are? Can you think of an example when that’s happened? Write that down as well.
  • What would mutual love and honoring look like, specifically, in your life right now?
  • Look again at the list you made earlier. How does this passage, and your responses to it, help you keep “your” work for the Lord in perspective?

Go on to verses 11-20. Read it, then re-read it. Take 10 more minutes to reflect and respond:

  • Which of these commands—if any—do you look at and say, “Hey, no problem”? On the other hand, which of these commands just make you cringe? In both cases, why?
  • Reflect once more on your co-workers from the section above. What, specifically, could that person or persons teach you that you lack?

This session has probably brought up a lot of current struggles. The good news is: God wants to help you in those struggles, and so do the people you thought about during this session. More than you know, or likely suspect. And now’s the time to invite God in (and if you’re in a group, others as well).

Which section resonated most with you as you studied and journaled? Spend time talking to God about it. Ask Him for wisdom, and for people to walk alongside you, as you pursue God’s “good and acceptable and perfect” will for your life. Also ask that your heart be changed toward others, so that you may “[l]ove one another with brotherly affection” and “[o]utdo one another in showing honor.”

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Lay Down and Listen (Retreat Session 2)

Posted on March 23, 2012 by Carl Simmons

Even if you’re with a group, this session is about you and God spending time together. Just you and God. This might seem scary, or lead to unrealistic expectations, if you’re not used to “wasting time with God.” Don’t let it be. I’ve had profound, life-changing revelations from God during these some of these retreat times. Other times, I didn’t sense God’s presence at all, even when I really desired to hear His answers. Yet other times, it was something in between—I felt God’s presence, if only briefly, but didn’t come back with “the answer from the mountaintop.” But my time with God has always been a time to be refreshed and to regain some perspective. If you go in with any expectations at all, let it be that.

Take at least 90 minutes for your “alone time with God.” Find a secluded (or at least private) area; bring your book, your journal, and something to write with. Once you’ve found your spot, spend some time in prayer, asking God to prepare your heart to listen to Him. If there are things that Session 1 has bubbled to the surface, spend time talking to God about those as well before moving on.

Also, don’t be surprised if distracting thoughts pop up during your prayer time or “alone time.” If it’s something that has some legitimacy—for example, something you need to remember to do when you get back home—just jot it down in your journal, then forget about it and move on.

Read 1 Kings 18:17–19:18, slowly. Then read through it again, before proceeding.

Note that God not only provides sustenance, but also provides fellowship and support. In the midst of Elijah’s turmoil and depression, God points him toward Elisha, who would become Elijah’s successor. In our next session, we’ll focus more on the power of prayer and on those God provides to support us. (If you’re with a group, some of those people might even be waiting for you when you get back.)

But for now, think about this:

  • When have you had an Elijah-type experience—where you’ve had a huge success, followed by an emotional/spiritual collapse? When have you wanted to (or did) say, “God, just kill me now?” How did God meet you during that time—or do you still wonder where He was or why He allowed it to happen?

Be brutally honest with this question. It’s not as if God doesn’t know the answers already. But maybe you need to acknowledge the pain you still feel—or properly express the joy of having experienced God’s provision and deliverance. Or both. Talk to God about that time right now before moving on. Spend more time in repentance, if you need to. Cry, scream, or be quiet and calm—respond to God as you need right now. Again, take as much time as you need to “clear the decks” with God. But also, even now, begin giving God the opportunity to answer.

When you’re done, take at least 15 minutes to be totally silent before God. You may or may not hear God’s “still small voice” during that time, but give Him the chance to speak to your heart, and your mind. If God does bring something to mind, and/or you realize there’s more you want to speak to Him about, write it down. But don’t interrupt your time of silence; save your words for later.

Afterward, reflect on these questions. Again, write out your answers, and include details—try to think through the “why behind the why”:

  • When have you found yourself expecting to hear God in the big circumstances—in the windstorms and earthquakes and fires—rather than in the calm that followed? When have you tried to “force” God to speak by creating a windstorm of your own?
  • When have you felt alone and abandoned, as Elijah did? Or that everything you’d truly felt you’d done for God was worth nothing? How did that affect other parts of your life?
  • What might you have been expecting of God during those times that was more about what you wanted than what God wanted?

Again, when you’re done, take a couple more minutes to be silent before God. Then again, deal with your feelings, and contrast them with God’s truth. Spend some more time talking things through with God before moving on to our last section.

When you’re ready, read John 15—the entire chapter—at least once through. Then, reflect on these questions, and respond to their corresponding prompts for prayer:

  • At what point do you usually realize you’ve stopped “remaining”? Why then? Why is staying connected, rather than being connected in stops and starts, so critical to bearing fruit?

Ask forgiveness for those times you’ve turned away from Jesus—again, be specific if there are instances you haven’t already prayed about during your retreat time—and for the strength to “stay remained” in Him.

  • How have you felt God pruning you over the last few months? What’s been the fruit of that process so far?

Thank God for the growth He’s produced in your life—and even for the pain that might have occurred in order for that growth to happen.

  • Conversely, how have you felt more connected to Jesus, or to other Christians, over the past few months? How can you strengthen those connections further?

Ask God for wisdom and insight on how to proceed.

  • What’s one way you need to remain in Jesus, in a way you really haven’t until now? More specifically: What has God impressed you with during this alone time, and what do you think He wants you to do about it?

Close your alone time in prayer, thanking God for your time together, and asking for His strength and wisdom to live out those things He’s impressed upon you during your time together.

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Lay Down… No, Seriously, LAY DOWN. (Retreat Session 1)

Posted on March 20, 2012 by Carl Simmons

The next four entries are for a self-directed retreat/interlude I’m creating for the midway point of Lay It Down, the Book. I’m trying to build it for both individuals and small groups; this is the individual version. Enjoy. (P.S. I’m also going to post the general notes and introduction in the comments, if y’r interested in actually doing this.)

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In our next session, we’re going to focus specifically on listening to God and what He has to say to us right now. But it’s hard to listen when your mind, heart, and spirit, and so cluttered with everything but Jesus. This session, therefore, is about starting to clear the decks and begin preparing your heart so you can hear.

Be patient with yourself during this process, but be willing to deal honestly and thoroughly with the things that have come between you and Christ—even if you haven’t realized them just yet.

Read Luke 10:38-42. Then read it again. Once more. Write down your immediate impressions in your journal.

Then, think about and write down your answers to the following questions, spending at least five minutes on each bullet-point group of questions:

• If you’re a Martha: If you had (or have) a Mary in your life, what would your complaint(s) about her be? What do your complaints reveal about your own priorities? How do those priorities line up with Jesus’ priorities, especially in light of what you’ve studied these past several weeks?

• If you’re a Mary: How do you react to the Marthas in your life? How guilty or anxious do you feel about all the things that aren’t done—or at least about how it’s making the Marthas in your life feel? What legitimate points do your Marthas have? How does all this distract you from sitting at Jesus’ feet and listening?

• Why is it so hard to stop and listen to Jesus? What do you think you’re giving up by doing so?

Now, read Revelation 2:1-7. Again, read it a few times and write down your impressions before moving on.

Reflect on and write down your answers to the following questions, again spending at least five minutes on each bullet point:

• What do you think—or at least hope—Jesus will commend you for? Be honest—this is an opportunity to invite Jesus into your struggles, and the things you take even legitimate pride in are part of that struggle.

• Recall when you first came to know Jesus. (You hopefully did this in “Lay Down Your Relationships”—but we can never remember enough.) What’s different now? How have you forgotten, or at least neglected, your first love?

• What attitudes or activities have quenched your first love—complacency, opposition, inattention, busyness, something else? Name each of them now. Be specific; add some detail.

• How do you get back to where you once were “and do the things you did at first”? (Note: If your answer is “I don’t know,” don’t panic. You’re just starting this retreat. Just begin trying to process. Give Jesus time to respond to, and shape, the desires of your heart.)

Part of the answer to your last question can be found in your answers to the previous question, and in verse 5. We’ve considered how far we’ve fallen, and acknowledged our need “do the things [we] did at first.” There’s one word between those two phrases, though, that we’re going to deal with now: Repent.

Review your list of attitudes or activities that have quenched your first love. You’ve named them; now spend time in prayer lifting each of these things up to God and repenting of them. To repent means to turn around, and by turning around we begin heading in the direction Jesus first pointed us in—and toward the destinations, both on this earth and beyond, He’s intended for us.

When you’re done, spend some more time remembering your first love in Jesus. Remember the joy you experienced in “do[ing] the things you did at first.” Then close your first session in prayer and thanksgiving—both for what Jesus has already done in your life and what He’s going to do as you lay down your life to Him.

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Going to God Like a Cigarette

Posted on March 15, 2012 by Carl Simmons

Our rather provocative titular reference above is nonetheless a good place for us to start, because this is a book about pursuing God with a single-minded passion. And you’ll have to discover the story that goes with it for yourself.

In a way, it’s unfair to review this until I’ve done the work it recommends. And in fact, there’s a very good chance I’ll come back to this review and update it three months later, once I’ve done the work. But marketing considerations are marketing considerations, so for now let me just say that Keith Meyer’s latest is a very intentional next step in that “curriculum for Christlikeness” direction his first full book Whole Life Transformation vigorously pointed toward. And, it proposes a way to do that journey together. Again, this isn’t so much a book that’s meant to be read as a book that’s meant to be done, and done together.

Keith Meyer. Spiritual Rhythms in Community: Being Together in the Presence of God. 160p., $15.00, IVP Books.

The 12 sessions are divided evenly between “rhythms of disengagement” designed to develop a sense of quietness and centeredness in God, and “rhythms of engagement” where we practice outward disciplines such as forgiveness, service, and living in community.

The Psalms are the vehicle for this journey into spiritual formation that Keith takes us on. Readers/group members are encouraged to work through a psalm each week, letting it sink in and (eventually) addressing applicational questions connected with it. For example, Psalm 131 becomes a self-meditational exercise about learning to slow down in every aspect of life (or “soul-shushing”).

Following that is a chapter-length devotional expanding on the idea developed in the psalm (in the above case, it’s “Wasting Time Just Being”). Then comes the (mostly) group part, where a discipline or activity is undertaken or discussed among the group. Activities range from day-long retreats to watching a movie together to taking a field trip to a criminal court. It’s safe to say a group that undertakes all these activities together will never be the same.

I think that gives you a good idea of what you (and your group) will be getting into. The approach here is very creative and yet doable, for a a group that’s willing to make a decent time commitment. Keith does give different approaches at the end; I’m thinking the 6-month approach (1 week discussion/1 week activity) could be handled easily by most groups. But the proof is in the pudding. And again, I expect to report back in a few months with how my pudding tasted. 🙂

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OK, so I changed my strategy. I’m thinking it’d be a good exercise to add my thoughts as I’m working through this. As such, they’ll be a little fragmented and raw, but they’ll also reflect what I’m actually thinking and feeling in the moment….

Week 1: The reading of Luke in one sitting not only helps immerse our heads in Kingdom mode, but very deliberately helps us to observe rhythms of disengagement and (re-)engagement that Jesus himself employed in His own life—and which we should observe in ours.

Week 2: A reminder that I need to slow down. Doesn’t hurt that I’m writing my own retreat material while working through this. 🙂 I remember the sacred space of Huntersfield Christian Retreat Center in Prattsville, NY, and still long for a similar spot in Colorado (although Colorado in general can inspire one). Quote worth remembering: “We grow as we mature in the use of the disciplines, realizing that they are not the best measure of how we are growing.”

Week 3: Instead of watching the movie Into the Wild (not that you shouldn’t—it’s a good movie), I instead chose to take a 7-mile hike through the high-desert “wilderness” of Colorado’s steppes & foothills, about 10 minutes up the road from here. Basically:

  • 1 mile of prairie;
  • another mile climbing 500 feet to the top of one ridge;
  • another mile descending and walking through the valley between ridges (not the valley of the shadow of death — in fact, there was no shadow at all for 99% of the hike — but it did feel very psalmlike nonetheless, especially on the way back);
  • a mile loop around the next ridge and back to the valley;
  • then back again.

Did feel like I was beginning to hear God more on the way back, especially as I prepared to go back up the first ridge. (Note to self: Let’s see who I’m working for/with come September.) Got back to the ridge and stopped under the only bit of shade available the whole way. Looked up, and on the other side of the trail, in the only other shaded spot, was a herd of mule deer — maybe four or five at first, then joined by another handful as I sat there. We spent a good five minutes just looking at each other. I then gave them a mini-sermon, a la St. Francis (I’d just finished the Little Flowers a week ago).

Finally, someone else came up the trail. I put a finger to my lips, then pointed over to the herd; he was about to miss them as well. We both just enjoyed that “sacred space” for another couple minutes, then we both moved on, him thanking me as we headed in opposite directions. I think I made the right choice. 🙂

Week 4: This week’s assignment was tough — basically, a modified version of a daily examen, but specifically geared to reflecting and showing gratitude toward God. To be honest, I’m not built that way. But it’s always healthy when I do it. And it was good preparation for the following week (i.e., after 15 months, I finally have a job again! Thank you, Lord!)

Week 9 (yeah, I know, I haven’t been good about writing stuff down here lately): Really appreciated the “Wednesday” review questions that went with Psalm 130, regarding the depth of sin in my life and how it affects both me and others, as well as the willingness to be examined and questioned by others. Lots to consider.

Week 11: Found the “Virtue walk” very helpful. Focused on patience—which, interstingly, is the same word translated “endurance” here. Wonder why I can’t seem to be more godly? Bam.

Week 12: Psalm 121 was the right place to end this, as well as just what I needed to hear. God’s got us. And thus, our pursuit continues…

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Lay Down Your Triggers: a small-group session

Posted on March 9, 2012 by Carl Simmons

The pre-reading for this (should you choose to do so) is easy—just scroll down, then work your way back up. The relevant entries are as follows:

Lay Down Your Circumstances
Lay Down Your Ambition
Lay Down Your Boundaries
Lay Down Your Weakness
Lay Down Your Self-Consciousness 

For this session, you’ll need….

• a DVD of the movie Fried Green Tomatoes. (Note: You can still have the discussion without viewing the clip, but it’s a good way to set the mood/get everyone relaxed.) Cue the movie to 1:21:02 (DVD Chapter 27), where Evelyn is cruising into the parking lot.

• a 6-8’ strip of masking tape. Before your session, place your tape strip across the floor of your meeting area. Make sure there’s room both in front and in back of your tape strip.

Laying Down Your Day (10 minutes)

Watch your scene from Fried Green Tomatoes; stop the DVD at 1:23:08, where the two young women are left dumbfounded and crying. Then discuss the following questions:

1. How do you normally react when you’re irritated? How long do you hold onto your reactions afterward?

2. What’s one circumstance or behavior that truly “sets you off”? How do you react? Why do you think that particular circumstance or behavior sets you off?

Ask someone to read the following:

“Our circumstances reveal who we are and what we really trust. The situations we face each day—especially the bad ones—tend to bring out what we’re made of, whether we want them to or not. We may be shocked by what our circumstances reveal about us, but God isn’t. And He wants us to stop being shocked, too, and instead put our trust in Him rather than ourselves to get through them.”

Then say something like: We all have our triggers—things that upset us, anger us, or make us anxious or fearful. They might be trivial, or they might be so serious that we feel justified in the things we say and do as a result. But all of these triggers indicate places where we need to develop a deeper trust in God and in the work He’s doing in our lives. Let’s look further into that.

Laying Down the Word (30 minutes)

Ask for one or two volunteers to read the following excerpt. Then discuss the questions that follow:

“Often without even realizing, we place limitations on what God wants to do in our lives, who we’ll reach out to, when we’ll make ourselves available, where we’re willing to go for His sake. And once God’s done laughing at our plans, He gently—or sometimes quite abruptly—pushes us past the boundaries we’ve tried to impose upon His infinite plans for us.

“It’s OK to realize how insufficient we are, or for that matter how truly little we love the people around us. God already knows it. But it’s not OK to resist God’s will because of our insufficiency, as if He won’t provide everything we need to perform His will.”

3. In what ways do you feel you’re unqualified to represent Jesus? Explain.

4. On the other hand, in what ways—or with what kinds of people—do you just not want to represent Jesus? Why?

Have someone read 1 Corinthians 1:26-31. Then discuss:

5. Think again about your answers to questions 3 and 4. How does this passage address the issues you brought up? How should it affect your responses to those situations?

Take turns reading John 17:1-26. (Review the bullet list in “Lay Down Your Self-Consciousness” also, if it’s helpful.) Then, discuss these questions:

6. What has Jesus already done for us? What does He expect us to do with what He’s given us, according to his prayer for us here?

7. Which parts of Jesus’ prayer are easiest for you to receive? Which parts are hard to understand, or maybe even accept? In both cases, why?

Laying Down Your Life (20 minutes)

One of your challenges this week was to find a Christian friend or mentor to whom you can “confess your weakness” and be accountable. You’re still encouraged to find someone to do that with. But for the remainder of this study, we’re also going to do that informally within this group. Let’s take a few minutes right now to stand up and find a partner. Try to pair up with someone you don’t know so well, if possible. Stay standing when you’re done.

Allow up to three minutes for group members to pair up. If people are hesitant to find a partner, help facilitate this as leader. Also, if you have an odd number of people, it’s OK to have a third member, but have no more than three people together. Read the entire italicized piece that follows:

In your pairs (or triads), read Matthew 18:18-20 and James 5:13-16. Then discuss between yourselves:

8. What promises do you find in these passages?

9. Where do you most need to take hold of those promises in your life right now? Put another way: What “triggers” do you most need God’s help in overcoming right now? 

When you’re done reading and talking, pray for one another about what you’ve shared. Also, set aside a time each week when you can touch base with one another, whether that’s in person, by phone, e-mail, texting, whatever. Again, from now until this study is over, these people are your partners in growing together, so let’s get started.

Give pairs 15 minutes to talk and pray, and then bring your group back together, keeping them standing in their pairs. Guide them to the masking-tape line you set up before your session. Have one of your pairs step up to the line, then say something like:

Think again about what you’ve just shared together over the past 15 minutes. Then, think of our tape line as those triggers you’ve shared about—the ways you’ve restricted yourself from stepping in what God has for you next. Take a moment to quietly reflect on that together, and how you can help each other get past that boundary you’re each facing right now. Then, when you’re ready, cross over our line together. You don’t have to hold hands or anything—unless you want to.

Give each pair (or triad) time to reflect and cross over; maybe even give them each a round of applause as they start this commitment together. Close your time together in prayer, saying something like:

Lord, we thank You that You bring people and situations into our lives to help us grow. Help us to begin seeing the people You’ve paired up with in that way. Help us to learn from each other… to inspire each other… to pull each other up. And help us to be faithful in finding ways to connect with each other outside of our time here. We thank You in advance for what You’re going to do with these spiritual friendships You’re creating between us, and we ask Your blessing upon us in Jesus’ name. Amen.

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Naming and Un-claiming Your Idols

Posted on March 8, 2012 by Carl Simmons

“So much of life comes down to the following three questions,” says Ed Welch: “Who is God? Who am I? Who are these other people?” The answers to those questions reveal what we truly care about and who we trust, and because of that, those answers often aren’t pretty. The good news is, those answers also reveal to us the exact places where God wants to work in our lives, and thus Welch provides us with a workbook  to get us started.

Edward T. Welch. What Do You Think of Me? Why Do I Care? Answers to the Big Questions in Life. 152p., $12.99, New Growth Press.

Although each question gets its own section, Welch walks us through each of the big three questions together over and over, and as a result turns up more heart-idols than we’d like to deal with. Just one example: “I see resentment that I have toward… more people than I thought. Who am I? I am a god. Who are other people? They live to serve me. Who is God? Someone I hope will leave me alone so I can judge these people and feel good about it. When it comes to resentment, I want to be God.”

It’s a honest process, and certainly for one taking it seriously it’s a hard process. But it’s not an unbearable one. “Don’t be intimidated by the process…” Welch assures us. “The truth is, the more you plunge into your heart, the murkier everything looks. But remember, you are doing this with the God who loves you. He doesn’t love you because you accurately see the false worship in your heart…. As one expression of that love, his Spirit will show you where your desires have led you astray, and the Spirit will lead you back to Jesus Christ.”

The point of all this, he says, is not only to think less of ourselves but to realize that we can never outlove God, and as a result be freed “to love more than you need love.” If we are royalty as the Bible says, we don’t need to strive to be loved; we can just love, secure of our knowledge of who we are in Christ. Everyone we know has the opportunity to become friends and family, if we just stop worrying so much about their perceptions of us and simply be ourselves, and become more and more who we’re created to be in Christ.

The interactive set-up of the book is also very helpful. Throughout, Welch poses questions for the reader to consider, then leaves room for us to answer. In fact, debriefing the chapters in a small-group setting would work well, given this format. All it takes is a group honest enough to let God deal with its failures. As you do so—either individually or as a group—you’ll learn to develop the “rhythm of change” in your lives. Welch makes that process understandable, accessible, and desirable.

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Lay Down Your Self-Consciousness

Posted on March 7, 2012 by Carl Simmons

Today’s devotional is noticeably longer—and for that matter, noticeably ornerier—than usual. If you disagree with my opening views, or at least feel I could be a bit kinder, fine. But bear with me, and try to hear the point behind the point, because the more important issue will be bringing up the rear:

There’s a huge preoccupation in the American church right now with cultural relevance—which, in many cases, could just as easily be read as “being indistinguishable from the rest of the world” and/or “becoming as inoffensive to non-Christians as possible.” To be sure, there are plenty of actions the church needs to repent of, and opinions it’s formed in response to previous cultural norms that need to be rethought in the light of eternity. But let’s be honest: Much of the incessant hand-wringing about how Christianity is perceived by those outside it has far more to do with how non-Christians perceive us than how they see Jesus. Thomas Merton said it much better than I could, and 50 years earlier:

One of the symptoms of this is precisely the anguished concern to keep up with an ever-changing, complex, and fictitious orthodoxy in taste, in politics, in cult, in belief, in theology and what not, cultivation of the ability to redefine one’s identity day by day in concert with the self-definition of society. “Worldliness” in my mind is typified by this kind of servitude to care and to illusion, this agitation about thinking the right thoughts and wearing the right hats, this crude and shameful concern not with truth but only with vogue. To my mind, the concern of Christians to be in fashion lest they “lose the world” is only another pitiable admission that they have lost it. (Conjectures of a Guilty Bystander, emphasis mine)

Certainly we’re called to love others regardless how deeply we disagree with their lifestyle or opinions, and just as certainly we’re not called to live in a Christian bubble, sheltered from the rest of the world. However, we’re not called to be relevant or hip or tolerant, or even relational or missional—we’re called to follow Jesus. That’s it. We only need to be relevant to Jesus. If we’re doing that, Jesus will send us out into His world in the ways He wants us to go.  That’s what He does. Any cultural relevance we need to have will take care of itself, because Jesus will care of it for us—and because we’ve loved those other people enough to see what they really need in their current circumstances.

So, what does my seemingly off-topic rant above have to do with today’s topic of self-consciousness? A lot, actually. If we’ve learned nothing else this week, we’ve learned that a lot of things can trip us up in our walk with Jesus, even when we’re trying to be “on our best behavior.” Our insufficiency can overwhelm us. Thus, we often feel as if we have no business talking about Jesus, and that we’re just going to tick people off when we do.

But think one more time about our passage in 1 Corinthians 1:26-31. With all our issues—and arguably because of our issues—God chose us to be witnesses who would reveal His glory to the world, through our weakness. We’re the ones who think we have to be perfect or relevant or inoffensive in order for the gospel to be heard through us. God disagrees, and thankfully He disagreed when he chose you, too. In fact, in the words of the late C. Jack Miller, “Cheer up—you’re a lot worse than you think!”

What’s more, the gospel of Jesus Christ is offensive. It declares that we’re all sinners, separated from God, and in need of a Savior. We can’t just skip to “God so loved the world” and ignore our ongoing need to repent—both inside and outside the church. But Jesus is faithful to forgive every one of us who are willing to receive His yoke of obedience to Him, and His love expressed for us on the cross.

Still, we too must be faithful to Jesus. And because He does send us into the world to be light to it, our faith is going to offend people. Sure, our humanness will sometimes get in the way of the gospel. But if we’re truly sharing in humility, and out of love for both Jesus and the other person, more often any offense we cause comes from getting the message right. Many people don’t want to hear the good news—at least initially. But it’s that initial reaction we’re so afraid of. We get so self-conscious about how badly we might screw up—how badly we’re screwed up—that we don’t share our life in Jesus at all. But as we become more conscious of Christ in our lives, we become less conscious of ourselves.

Paul said in Romans 1:16-17: “I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes… For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith for faith, as it is written, ‘The righteous shall live by faith’” (ESV). Live by faith. Trust that when God wants you to speak, the power of the gospel will be there. You are weak. And guess what? In God’s eyes, that makes you uniquely qualified to do His work.

In closing, let’s briefly examine Jesus’ prayer for us in John 17 (or better yet, go read the whole thing now and come back when you’re done). Look at what Jesus prays, and what he prays for:

  • God has been manifested to us through Him (v.6).
  • We have been given the truth (v.7-8, 14).
  • We belong to Jesus, no matter what, and Jesus is glorified by us (v.9-10).
  • We will be hated for belonging to Jesus (v.14).
  • We have been sent into the world, and are not to be removed from it (v.15-18).
  • Jesus prayer is for all who will believe in Him through His word (v.20).
  • We are to manifest God’s glory, so that the world will know the one who sent us (v.22-23).
  • Jesus knows the Father, and because He does, so do we. Not only that, but Jesus will continue to make the Father known to us (v.25-26).

All these things are non-negotiable. Jesus has told us everything we need to know at this moment in our lives, and given us everything we need to carry out His will in this moment. Do you believe that?

We know when God has spoken to us, yet we often lack confidence that this Word of God is truly enough for others. Here’s a test: When placed in a situation when it’s time to share what God’s given you, share that word and only that word. Then—and I say this as respectfully as possible—shut up. Allow God’s Word to work, and get out of the way.

God does not expect us to be perfect. He expects us to listen, and obey. That is enough. God has always been in the business of making something out of nothing.  So lay down your self-consciousness, give God the opportunity to do what only He can do, and enjoy the front-row seat He’s given you to His work in that person’s life.

Lay It Down Today

Actually, you have two assignments today. And yes, both involve opening your mouth:

1) Let’s pick up from Monday’s assignment. You’ve begun identifying weaknesses you face, and you may well have resonated with this issue of self-consciousness. Who can you trust to share with about this weakness? He or she doesn’t have to be more spiritually mature than you, but if not, the two of you should be at a comparable level of spiritual growth. Seek that person out, and commit to meeting on a weekly basis. Pray specifically for one another’s weaknesses, and invite God to reveal His power in the midst of them.

2) OK, so that assignment’s a little scary. This one’s probably scarier: Who needs to hear about what Jesus has done in your life (and can do in theirs)? Push past your self-consciousness. Meet for coffee or lunch and share your story. Don’t anticipate what that person’s reaction might be; trust God to do His work and to give you His peace as you share. If the other person will allow it, close your time in prayer, asking God to meet this person wherever he or she’s at. And continue to be open to whatever God wants to do with this relationship.

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